Friday, October 30, 2015
Thursday, October 29, 2015
Greetings, O Conduit of the Lubricants of the Nine Steps of LaMaze! It is I, your very, very tired minion, Illuminati.
Well, the Large-Jawed Woman calmed down, after ingesting a small snack.
Then she decided to go out for the evening.
The first outfit didn't seem flattering enough (her Elderly Friend just kept saying "more tits, toots!"). So she changed.
Then she fed the dogs. You can sort of tell the animals belong to the Large-Jawed Woman. You know what they say about humans and their pets, how after awhile they begin to resemble each other? If you look carefully, O Divine Afflatus, you will see what I mean.
But then the Boyfriend arrived home and told the Large-Jawed Woman that she "looked like a two-bit hooker in a four-bit neighborhood", a phrase I do not understand, but the Large-Jawed Woman retreated into the domicile and changed yet again.
By now Minion Wannabe Bruce was getting tired, so I relieved him for the night.
He just kept muttering this.
Off we go for a "night on the town". I am hiding in the back of the truck in the upholstered chair the Boyfriend keeps there for the Elderly Friend, who decided not to accompany them. The last thing I heard before sending this transmission was "Yeehaaaaah! Palmdale, lock up yer pets!"
Your faithful minion,
Illuminati
Well, the Large-Jawed Woman calmed down, after ingesting a small snack.
Then she decided to go out for the evening.
The first outfit didn't seem flattering enough (her Elderly Friend just kept saying "more tits, toots!"). So she changed.
Then she fed the dogs. You can sort of tell the animals belong to the Large-Jawed Woman. You know what they say about humans and their pets, how after awhile they begin to resemble each other? If you look carefully, O Divine Afflatus, you will see what I mean.
But then the Boyfriend arrived home and told the Large-Jawed Woman that she "looked like a two-bit hooker in a four-bit neighborhood", a phrase I do not understand, but the Large-Jawed Woman retreated into the domicile and changed yet again.
By now Minion Wannabe Bruce was getting tired, so I relieved him for the night.
He just kept muttering this.
Off we go for a "night on the town". I am hiding in the back of the truck in the upholstered chair the Boyfriend keeps there for the Elderly Friend, who decided not to accompany them. The last thing I heard before sending this transmission was "Yeehaaaaah! Palmdale, lock up yer pets!"
Your faithful minion,
Illuminati
Hey there, O Guy that Illuminati Talks to ---
It's me, Minion Wannabe Bruce. Illuminati is too upset to report in but someone needs to let you know that the shit is gettin' REAL here, y'all! She is dancing up a storm!!! I'm just watchin' and watchin' cuz Illuminati says that's what we DO, but I gotta tell you, dude, it ain't easy!
It's me, Minion Wannabe Bruce. Illuminati is too upset to report in but someone needs to let you know that the shit is gettin' REAL here, y'all! She is dancing up a storm!!! I'm just watchin' and watchin' cuz Illuminati says that's what we DO, but I gotta tell you, dude, it ain't easy!
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