Greetings, Oh Alfredo Sauce of the Divine Pastas of the Outer Realms! It is I, your trusty servant Illuminati reporting. Where do I begin this report? Should it be with the loss of yet another case by the Large-Jawed Woman due to her persistent failure to understand Terran legalities? This time she lost to someone whose incompetence in this area is so great that it dwarfs her own, and yet she still managed to snatch defeat from the kloonaks of victory. Her opponent didn't have the legal right to sue the Large-Jawed Woman, and yet she still managed to lose. It's like watching Venus Williams losing the match to Helen Keller. But the week was still not over, Your New and Improvedness, as she managed to lose twice more in the same week! We have returned to the domicile she shares with the Main Squeeze, and I have to tell you that things are not going well here either. Her avowed enemies are releasing floods of information, and the Main Squeeze is a little aghast to learn he has been having a relationship with, and I quote, "someone with more people inside her than Sybil!" I am not sure what that last reference means, but to judge from the force with which he hurled his can of the elixir PBR at the wall portrait, I don't think it can be a good comparison. We are now settling down to write in preparation for yet another appearance on Monday in the Terran legal system. This may not go well; already, the Large-Jawed Woman is surrounded by an increasingly large heap of cans. Your affectionate servitor, Illuminati