Oh my stars and garters, O Pocket Protector of the Divine Nerds of Theta! Things here at the Large-Jawed Gap-Toothed Woman's domicile have been a-hoppin' these past few weeks! She has been in and out of a courtroom, as you know from my Double Naught Spy Top Secret Transmission to the Home Plane --- I mean, to Paris, and frankly, O Mighty Shovel, I am not sure how much longer the Large-Jawed Gap-Toothed Woman will be able to hold her fecal material together! She and the other human fight all of the time, and I haven't seen the elderly human known as "Jim" in a significant number of temporal units. On the day of her court appearance I disguised myself as one of the other Terrans within the chamber while she spoke with the Judge. And I don't think I was the only one there in disguise, Your Magnificence! Are there other minions assigned to the Large-Jawed Gap-Toothed Woman's case? After she left that morning, Minion-in-Training Bruce picked me up in his 18 wheeler and we sped down the highway to the appointed place. I thought "high-balling" meant sped, but Bruce clearly explained that it has another meaning altogether, at least to him, and so I was a walking a little gingerly when we slipped into the room. The Large-Jawed Gap-Toothed Woman was at the podium with a sad looking human male beside her, and she was wearing a pair of hearing devices strapped to her ears. I think she may be in contact with her home planet as well!!! They must have much stricter transmission rules because she would hardly ever take them off, even when the Judge was trying to tell her things! There was also a very well-dressed woman sitting off to the side nervously unwrapping candy bars and passing them to the woman beside her, who was sitting with a lighted candle moaning softly!!! Anyway, the Judge was being really severe with the Large-Jawed Gap-Toothed Woman who kept smiling at him with this really weird expression on her face, and pointing to her transmission devices and mouthing "I can't HEAAAAARRRRR YOUUUUUU!!!!!" at him, which only seemed to irritate the Judge. Also, she would whip around and stare at the rest of us for a second, and then the woman with the candle would shrink into her seat and mutter "Bitsy! She can see me!!!!!" and the other woman would say "What do you think she's going for with that hoodie and bell bottoms at her age? Now eat the Clark Bar like a good girl, sister of my heart!" And the Judge would say something like, "Can you hear me, Miss?" and the Large-Jawed Woman would stare at the ceiling and smile, and finally Bruce leaned over and said, "She can hear a mouse fart at one hundred yards!" and she must have heard that because she turned around really fast and stared at him, but Bruce said it wasn't that she heard him, she just liked his assless chaps. And then the Judge said you have to come back to court, and you need to stop having animals!!!! And the Large-Jawed Gap-Toothed Woman got all sad-faced and said in this squeaky little voice "But Noble Sir, I have my animals being taken care of by others!" and this Other Woman just kind of snorted behind her and the Large-Jawed Gap-Toothed Woman whirled around and saw her and she said, "YOU!" in that delivery style she has that made Steven Spielburg consider her for the lead in no movie ever, and the Other Woman glared at her, and then the Large-Jawed Gap-Toothed Woman shrieked "It's her The Bitch from Animal Control!" and suddenly the court room was filled with the odor of brimstone and sulfur and the Other Woman began to grow until she was 10 feet tall, towering over the entire assembly, and flying monkeys came crashing in and started winging around the room snatching up people from their seats! And the Other Woman was cackling maniacally and screaming "Fly! Fly!!!" and there was a Lion, a Tin Woodsman and a Scarecrow running around the room, and a small terrier barking up a storm, and I heard Bruce say, "Holeeeeeee Shiiiiiiiit!" before he threw himself on the floor, and the Large-Jawed Gap-Toothed Woman opened her arms and cried, "Oh, Toto, Toto, it's you!", and the little dog bit her and barked "That's for my brother, you dog-killer!"!!!!! It was very exciting. And we get to do it all again in two weeks, O Digestive Biscuit to the Overlords.