We are on the move, O Mighty One! The Large Jawed Woman, or as I must now refer to her, Ms. Hanoi, has driven off from her domicile on the way to Kinko's for yet another of her efforts on their computers (her own has suffered much damage of late because of Cheetoh dust clogging up the keys). But, Your Loveliness! She has cleverly disguised herself so that she cannot be recognized as the Large Jawed Woman. Well, she can still be recognized for her large jaw, but now she looks like a Terran from the eastern hemisphere. This morning I observed her carefully taking strips of Scotch tape and pressing them to the sides of her eyelids to force them into an upward slant. Then she began dabbing ochre makeup across her face until she was the color of a slightly baked snack of the sort that she prefers. Finally, she removed the head of a mop, dipped it into black shoe polish, and when it dried, placed it over her own greying tresses. The final touch was to don a pair of black pajamas and put a pair of flip flops on, and breep-o, O Mighty Shovel! Where once stood the Large Jawed Woman, now stood the Large Jawed Asian Woman! Meanwhile, I followed her lead and disguised myself as well. I am now calling myself One Hung Low, and you would not recognize your faithful minion! I managed to find a small can of yellow paint in one of the sheds, and doused myself in it pretty thoroughly. The only drawback was that it turned out to be phosphorescent, so I now tend to glow in the dark. At the moment, as I make this report to the Mother Sh --- I mean, to headquarters --- I am in the trunk of the Mercedes. It's a little uncomfortable because the bottom of the space has rusted out (to say nothing of the small skeletons of cats and dogs that are rattling around in here with me), but thanks to the glow of my skin, I can see well enough to type. The only thing I could do with my hair, or really my lack of hair, was to grab one of the lampshades and stick it on top of my head. It looks like a sampan hat, or at least that will be my story if anyone questions me when I climb out of the trunk at Kinko's once we arrive. There was a bad moment as she backed out of the driveway. The towel she normally hangs over her license plate had dropped off, and when she got out to secure it more firmly, a man came up with a piece of paper in his hand and attempted to speak with her. "Miss H?" he asked. "No Miss H! Miss H no here!! Me Missy Hanoi, longtime same no see Miss H!!! No Miss H!!!" The Large Jawed Woman was alarmed, and tried to get back into her car. Unfortunately, when she slammed the door, it dropped off its rusted hingers and onto the poor Terran's right foot. "Shit!!" He began hopping up and down on one foot. "So solly! Miss Hanoi so solly!! Miss Hanoi go now, all same solly!!!!" I had to hold onto the walls of the trunk with all four limbs and my tail as she spun the car into reverse and roared off down the street, leaving behind a trail of empty McFlurrie cups and half-eaten fried pies. Your faithful minion, One Hung Low