O Mighty and Most August Fanner of the Flames of Fanrath and Fluffer to the Stars, In the Pursuit of Which You Can Earn 17-22 Dollars Per Hour (which is a lot more than minions get for performing essentially the same services, if I may be so bold, O Dangling Preposition of the Horns of Tiburon), The Large Jawed Asian woman and I are circling the courthouse for some reason. Every so often she slows down and scans the premises with a toy pair of binoculars that she fortuitously discovered while tearing through a box of Terran snacks --- very delicious snacks; it contained both peanuts and popcorn slathered with a lovely combination of chemicals. When she wasn't looking, I ate the empty box --- as though she is hoping to see something. I am also startled by the ease with which she has accepted me, Your Infinitude. True, there was a bad moment when she opened the trunk at Kinko's to dump the empties she had consumed while driving, but after I explained that I had accidentally fallen into it because "my Engrish so bad I thought was public lavatory", she tossed me onto the sidewalk and instructed me to stand guard over her. So I reared up on my tail to make myself at least eye level. There was a moment of panic, but then when she noticed two Kinko's customers running off at the sight, I could tell she was relieved to have me at hand. I think it is partly due to my minion skills, but then I figured out that if anyone would accept a glowing yellow creature with a lampshade on his head and a tail as a small Asian, it probably would be someone who has been living the hallucinogenic fantasy that the Large Jawed Woman has immersed herself in since she was a young girl. I probably make as much sense as anything else to her. There was a small monent when she actually entered the store itself, a sort of collective moan from the Terr--- people, I mean people, who work there, when she slapped the collection of paperwork she wanted copied on the counter. "This again, " I heard one of them mutter. "Twice as long as Mein Kampf and only half as funny." We are slowing down again, so I will seize the opportunity to dispatch this message and snork down some empty Doritos bags I see in the back seat. Cool Ranch! My favorite! Your faithful minion, One Hung Low