O Grand and Glorious One, Sorry for the long silence on my end, Your Flatulence, but I have been deeply undercover now for months, and mercy me, O Harbinger of Hilarity, six of my nine eyes have been permanently damaged by the experience. Oh, the sights I have seen! I spent most of the winter disguised as a sofa cushion on the Large-Jawed Woman's covertible bed outside on the front porch of the Littlerock dwelling, and let me tell you, it was rough. Not only did I have to endure her rather enormous asspharti descending upon me at regular intervals, and the occasional Cheetoh rammed up my nose when she accidentally dropped them during a feeding frenzy, she also hid the bodies of small felines and canines behind the sofa in an effort to keep the forces of Animal Justice from uncovering them during their regular visits to her domicile. Actually, though, I think the Large-Jawed Woman was grateful for the attention. She would swipe cages that they brought to remove her animals and stuff them down her jeans. Later she would sell them, thereby purchasing the electrical current she needs to maintain her computational device and the never-ending war with her enemies. The numbers of which increaseth daily and droppeth like the dew from above. She has now succeeded in annoying the ASPCA in the neighboring five counties, all of her neighbors upon her former street, and some poor Terran who approached her outside of Kinko's to ask the time, and whom she drove before her screaming about how she was the victim of stalking. All he could say was "Geeze, lady, lady, please, lady, I just wanted to buy some paper clips!" but the Large-Jawed Woman would not be mollified. And now here we sit in a cave out in the desert. It's not bad, it reminds me of Denbar VIII and the happy times I spent there with Minion Tom Cruise under the Rings of Roombath. I am now disguised as a rock, but frankly, O Mighty Shovel, I could probably sit in front of her with Christmas lights around my neck and she wouldn't even notice. All she does is wear a tinfoil hat and throw darts at pictures of Terrans. They are labeled with names like "Mitzi" and "Huiko" and "Blake". She kind of laughs to herself a lot too. To tell you the truth, I'm a little afraid. Can I come in from the cold now? Your faithful Minion, Illuminati