Greetings, O Sonny to the Elder Chers of Theta! There have been a number of developments about which I should humbly report, O Large Economy Size of the World of Costco! Minionwannabe Bruce and Esteban have returned from their extended stay in sunny Puerto Vallarta, where according to Bruce they made "sweet, sweet love" and drank many beverages that were served with tiny paper umbrellas. As Bruce knows, these are my favorite, so he saved the little parasols and brought them home for me. Delicious!

The Large-Jawed Woman has moved into a tall device near the sea. The device has a flashing light at the top, and the Large-Jawed Woman uses it at night to send signals out to the horizon. It is a code invented by a Terran named Morse, and can be used for primitive communication. For the first few nights she amused herself by broadcasting this over the night skies of Los Angeles:

All the while she would be humming under her breath, something like "nanananananananananananananananananana". This usually happened after consumption of the divine nectar known as Pabst Blue Ribbon. No one ever responded to the flying rodent symbol, although there were one or two issues that took place because the Large-Jawed Woman had removed the light from its proper target, the sea:

When this would happen, the Large-Jawed Woman would hide by disguising herself as a part of the local scenery:

After they left, we would go back into the house of light, and start beaming the light again. The Large-Jawed Woman kept beaming this out over the city, over and over:

I am not sure what it means, but the Large-Jawed Woman seemed fixated on these two letters. Do you have any ideas?

She is getting hungry, I think. There was a small kitchen in the house of light, but she used it to cook some of the "good stuff" again, and , well, you know how that goes. We're lucky the whole place didn't burn down! I have some left over parasols to sustain me. Meanwhile Minionwannabe Bruce and Esteban have left one a weekend run in his 18-Wheeler. Esteban is such a nice young Terran. He offered to accompany Bruce "just for the fun of it!"

And Bruce seems to be having a good time with him as well.

I'd better go awaken the Large-Jawed Woman. She fell asleep eating Cheetos again on the couch. Note to self: bring one of these back to the Mother Ship for testing. The Cheeto pellet itself is covered with orange dust that itself must be delectable, as the Large-Jawed Woman is continually licking it off her fingers. Of course, last night the Pabst nectar must have kicked in before she had the chance:

I'd better go find the dustbuster and get her started on the day, O Grand and Mighty Shovel.

Your faithful minion,

Illuminati