The Large-Jawed Woman has been informed that she is no longer afflicted with ocular disease, and decided to celebrate by planning her marriage to either Vlad the Impaler (as she fondly calls him) or Donald Trump, the current contender to be Grand Shovel of this orb. Although he is currently mated to this female:
The Large-Jawed Woman has told the Elderly Boyfriend that it is only a matter of time before the Donald seeks another mate. Therefore she has scheduled what the Terrans refer to as plastic surgery tomorrow morning, in hopes of improving her chances to be chosen.
As you may remember, Your Portliness, when she has gone this route in the past the results have occasionally been . . . .
unfortunate.
Still, the Large-Jawed Woman has hopes, and so she went into an emporium called David's that sells bridal accoutrements. And purchased this:
Apparently she felt the need for a pet bed on the front. Oh, and by "purchased", of course she managed to get it on "credit". It is a very beautiful gown. When the Elderly Boy Friend saw it, he said she looked like nothing he had ever seen outside of Tijuana on a Saturday night.
And speaking of Mexico, Your Amplitude --- Minionwannabe Bruce and Esteban the Pool Boy have still not returned. And I keep getting pictures via text.
Esteban has won a contest! This is so unfair! I never get to go anywhere. I mean, other than Earth.
Your faithful minion,
Illuminati
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