O Mighty Flip-Phone of the Gods of Verizon III,

She's at it again, and I don't have Minion Wannabe Bruce to help me!

This time she sealed up all the windows in a house she broke into knocked on the door to, and when it accidentally opened and no one was home, the Large-Jawed Woman disabled the alarm system really quickly, like she'd done it before, and then she sealed up all the windows and ran the garden hose into the room.

Meanwhile, Bruce and Esteban the Pool Boy:

That's Bruce in the middle, anyway, they've left for Puerto Vallarta. I found this on the floor of Minion Wannabe Bruce's 18-wheeler cab:

And then they sent me this in human text form:

And I don't think it's really fair, O Mighty Shovel, that he gets to have all of the fun and I am stuck draining the room or the pool so the Large-Jawed Woman doesn't drown! And then when I get her out (I came up with a clever idea, O Miniature Pony of the Divine Lippinzanners of Equus II, I just bait a hook with cheesecake and throw it into the water. It works every time!), the Large-Jawed Woman just sits and I can tell she is thinking of doing it again!

There goes the cell phone again!

This is so unfair!

Your Faithful Minion,

Illuminati