Greetings, O High C-note in the Aria of the Spheres! It is I, your unworthy Minion, reporting in!I have a few tiklaks, as the Large-Jawed Woman is trying on various outfits for the court tomorrow. Every so often she comes back into the front room in a new ensemble, and twirls around for the old man called Jim, who is sitting on the floor with a stuffed beagle and a fifty-pound sack of sand. Jim looks pretty bored, especially when he has to do squeaky voices and pretend that the sand and the beagle are talking, but the Large-Jawed Woman doesn't seem to notice that it is actually Jim speaking when they do. The first thing she wore was this really short skirt and a blouse cut so low you could see what I think Jim called "stretch marks". Isn't that interesting? Humans, er, Californians must have the ability to elasticize their epidermal regions! Anyway, Jim asked her "where the hell do you wear that thing?" and the Large-Jawed Woman said, "what are you bitching about? I've worn this to church!" and Jim just sort of sneered and said, "what were you supposed to be? A bad example?" and the Large-Jawed Woman got really mad, swiped an empty beer can off the top of the television device and bounced it off the wall over his head. Then she pirouetted some more and said "what do you-all think?" and Jim kind of sighed and then made the beagle say, "No fucking way! You look fucking awful!!!" and the sandbag say, "It is not a good look for Ms. Large-Jawed Woman!" The Large-Jawed Woman kind of stamped her feet and went into the back room to change again. A few tiklaks later she came out in a long black dress with a dark black veil over her head, black gloves and a black handbag, along with lime green sneakers. "You look like an Eyetalian war widow, honey. Look, this ain't Goldilocks and the Three Bears. Pick something in the middle. Ain't you got anything back there that an actual human being could wear to a trial? I mean, this ain't your first trip to that rodeo!" And the Large-Jawed Woman glared at him (I think she did, the veil was really, really thick) until he finally gave up and did the beagle voice again. "You look like a fucking asshole!" and then the sand voice, "once again, this is not the best look for Ms. Large-Jawed Woman." So she went back, and the next time she came out of the room she was wearing this really fancy dress with a hat on her head with a veil, all covered with sparkly glass and Korean flags. This time all three of them, Jim, the beagle and the sack of sand, all of them said in unison, "no fucking WAY, not AGAIN!" And the Large-Jawed Woman just kind of huffed off. Finally she came out in what I believe the humans Californians call "Daisy Dukes" with no shirt to cover her primary mammalian characteristics. And may I say, O Queso Dip of the Gods, that these primary mammalian characteristics have clearly fallen victim to the unfairly heavy gravity of this world, er, state? And Jim said, "you're not even trying, honey" and she said "but I used to wear these all the time and guys did what I wanted!" and he said "what if the judge is a chick?" and she looked like she was considering it, and then she went back to change. Will let you know how it goes, O Grand Shovel. Your Unworthy Minion, Illuminati P.S. Nice work getting Minion Bronson reassigned to work for Minion Richard Simmons. Let's face it, he could stand lose a few liblabs!