Greetings, O Divine Afflatus of Theta and Its Suburbs! As you know, this has been kind of a bad week or two for the Large-Jawed Woman. Court dates are raining down like confetti, only if the confetti were the size of boulders! There was a bad moment when she misunderstood just which one of her many fans was suing her this time, but that has all been straightened out. Yet another one of her minions for legal advice has turned bitterly on the Large-Jawed Woman due to her longstanding inability to compensate them, or anyone else for that matter, for their endeavors on her behalf. This one seems to have really scared her, though, since he is a master ninja of some sort. As a result, she has spent the last week living in the back of a lime-green Gremlin that sits on the street in front of her latest domicile. This creates a problem, since the closed trunk prevents her from absconding with the neighbors' wifi, but she is coping by using her cell phone. It is from this device that she is able to send love-tweets to Vladimir Putin, unaware of the irony that he is, of course, one of us! Every once in awhile her Main Squeeze unlocks the trunk and tosses in a bag of crispy orange corn treats and a medicinal drink called "Dr. Pepper". I don't know when she will come out of the trunk, either, although there are signs she is starting to crack. Minion Bruce says that he can hear her inside the trunk muttering to herself all night long, but since she does that all of the time anyway, I don't think it really proves anything one way or the other. Your faithful Minion, Illuminati