Good morning, O Nougat Center of the Chocolate Overlords. The Large-Jawed Woman has been awake for some time, and is back on the computational device --- as Minion Wannabe Bruce says, "a-cranking out the same old shit." Truly, O Both Breath and Candy Mint of Theta, the substance called the meth of crystal is an enormous source of energy, despite the toll it has taken upon her facial features and teeth. But she is hard at work on the couch.

She is busily compiling yet another digital record, even passing up the Boy Friend's offer to "take your lard ass over for a Rooty-Tootie Fresh 'n' Fruity" in order to diligently record all of the times that landlords have cast her into the streets.

You see, O Snuggle Bunny of Theta, on Earth in California, those who own domiciles can do something called "rent them". This involves the transference of funds, or money as the Californians refer to it, in exchange for the right to live in the said domicile. The Large-Jawed Woman has never actually grasped how this concept works, although it seems to mean that she is entitled to conduct chemical experiments in the kitchens of the domiciles, usually causing fires. She also uses them to store animals, mistreating them until legal agents are forced to intervene. These occasions are also being diligently digitally depicted! (Try saying that three times fast, O Harelip of Horus!)

These have not been easy times for the Large-Jawed Woman, as my reports have indicated. Last month we had to deal with the eye issue.

As you know, she has long had physical issues. For example, soon after birth:

Here the eyes are clearly not up to par. During her childhood, there was also an issue with breathing. She does it through the mouth most of the time, while here in California the preference is for those who do it through their nostrils (I know, California is a strange place. Think how happy the Large-Jawed Woman would be with other mouth breathers on the planet Appalachia IV!)

Anyway, things got a little out of hand recently.

So she has fallen behind on her vendetta against her imaginary enemies, and is making up for it this morning. They eye has returned to normal following treatment.

Your faithful minion,

Illuminati