Greetings, O Slightly Off Center Schmatta on the Head of the Overlord of Theta! As you may remember from previous transmissions, the Large-Jawed Woman has an unhealthy fixation with world leaders here on this planet. In her early years, long long ago before her reproductive organs withered, she attached herself to royalty whenever she could --- you may remember our first encounter, when the Large-Jawed Woman had the unfortunate encounter with the Terran Queen and the Lobsters. In recent years she has been courting the man known as Putin, or "Vlad the Impaler" as the Large-Jawed Woman refers to him in her frequent emails. I had checked the data banks, and at first I have thought she was referring to him by this title in reference to a Transylvanian nobleman who affixed his enemies with spears, but it turns out that she uses the word "Impaler" in a different sense. For years she has bombarded Vlad the Impaler with protestations of love and a willingness too be of service. Any kind of service. To my surprise, Vlad has now begun to respond.

At first, it was difficult to understand what the Fearless Leader could desire from the Large-Jawed Woman.

However, she was very excited as these transmissions began to arrive. I believe her actual expression to the Elderly Boyfriend was "Mama done spiked the football this time!!!"

Her spirits were dimmed slightly when he finally made it clear where this was going.

Also, I was under the impression that cooked coyote fell into the category of "meat". Is this not so? Minion Wannabe Bruce says we are going to have to get a frozen pizza for the Terran holiday. That is fine with me, although I will have to persuade him yet again that cooking them ruins the flavor!

Your faithful minion,

Illuminati