Please excuse the recent transmission, O Grand and Mighty Shovel. The transmitter was seized by Minion Wannabe Bruce, who was listening to the Large Jawed Woman rant and just went "oh, snaaaaaaaaaaap", whatever that means.

Meanwhile the Large-Jawed Woman continues to occupy her time with her cellular communication device, sending her greetings and what passes for her thoughts to the world at large. Every once in awhile the Boy Friend will bring her the heavenly delight of something called a PBR, usually in response to a plaintive cry "Mama's thirsty, baby boy!" Occasionally the Large-Jawed Woman will intently read something on her cellular device and become angry. Usually this means an outbreak of typing communications. If it goes on for too long (in the judgement of the Boy Friend), he will drag the garden hose through the window and hose her down. That usually stops it.

I understand through the blergat-vine that Minion Bronson is hosting a get-together this weekend at his place, and was wondering if I might take a night off to attend?

Your faithful minion,

Illuminati