Yesterday the Terrans celebrated the feast in which they ritually give thanks to the elder gods of this planet. The Large-Jawed Woman began the day with resolutions to recreate the feasts of her childhood, by looking at pictures she possessed of her happy family gatherings.
The Large-Jawed Woman allowed herself the luxury of looking at only this picture before she was overwhelmed with sadness and then anger, as she realized how many of the people in the picture had actually testified against her in court. A few delicious nectars later, she smashed an empty PBR against her forehead, and bustled around assembling the ingredients for the feast.
It did not take long before she realized that she did not, in fact, possess any of the traditional ingredients. Things got a little testy with the current Boy Friend and the Elderly Boy Friend once it became clear that there was no turkey, no stuffing, and indeed no more PBRs.
It then became necessary to track down a local dispensary of comestibles for those who possess no shelter, where the Large-Jawed Woman was finally able to celebrate the Holiday of Thanks. Although, as you can see, Your Flatulence, she did not appear particularly thankful.
After the meal was consumed, the entire household piled into the truck and sped off for a little shoplifting at the local Walmart, or as Minion Wannabe Bruce refers to it, Redneck Tiffany. I was able to snap this picture from the shopping cart.
The Large-Jawed Woman was pleased to discover that while she shopped for fripperies, the Boy Friend was able to lam out with an entire grill! And two steaks that he managed to hide up the Elderly Boy Friend's bleergat! The only thing he forgot to smuggle out of the Walmart was natural gas to fire up the grill properly when they returned to the base camp, but ingenious Terran that he is, he managed to figure that out!
All in all, I think that the Large-Jawed Woman enjoyed a lovely festival. And I was able to consume the pellets that had wrapped the grill, so I too gave thanks!
Your obedient minion,
Illuminati
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