And finally, proof that Minions exist and are among humankind!

However, I cannot get Minionwannbe Bruce to get out of his bubble bath. Any advice, O Liver Spot on the Fourth Hand of the Thetan Overlord?

Your faithful minion,

Illuminati

It has been a crazy few days, O Big Rock Candy Mountain of Theta! The Large-Jawed Woman has been in a frenzy of activity, but this evening she has decided to relax.

So Minion Wannabe Bruce and I have seized our opportunity to relax!

Your faithful minion,

Illuminati

Greetings, Your Ineptitude!

I am curled up in the Large-Jawed Woman's "handbag" (it is actually a bag made of brown paper that is handed out by the local conveyor of comestibles in order to facilitate carrying purchased items, but she has written the word PRADA on both sides of it and calls it her "handbag"). I am covered with bottles of her PBR nectar and several bags of Cheetos and something called "Ranch Flavored Doritos". These are the chief items in the Large-Jawed Woman's diet these days.

We are riding the bus along the busy Los Angeles streets. The Large-Jawed Woman seems lost in thought, staring out the rain-streaked windows to snap the occasional picture with her communications device. Well, perhaps the bus trip will do her some good. Anything is better than the desert cave to which we have retreated since the lighthouse debacle.

Minionwannabe Bruce is due in this weekend for a stopover. He and Esteban the Pool Boy have ended their relationship amidst a good deal of recrimination. I suppose it was only to be expected, as Bruce doesn't speak any Spanish, and Esteban is equally deficient in English, and eventually they ran out of things to do.

Your faithful Minion,

Illuminati